I’m in the backseat of a yellow Monte Carlo. Possibly one of the most attention-giving cars out on the street besides a rarity like a muscle car. Anyone would be able to spot it and easily identify it because it’s obnoxious. I sat on the right side next to Dan Musser who was in blue jeans and a black band T-shirt. He had brown curly hair down to his nose. I had hair in my face as the wind from the right passenger window was blowing in. It was Gage Miller’s turn so we put Anarchy in the U.K. on our Ipod for the second time tonight. The first time was when it was Joe’s turn who we just recently dropped off. He gave us his camera so we could take pictures of our damage. He began sitting on the door while Adam was going at least thirty miles an hour down a subdivision road. We were previously were here three hours ago but going the other way. This is where the night started and where it would end.
We were about to cross the 4 way street, waiting for a car to go but we all looked to our right, even Gage who was halfway out the window with a baseball bat in his hands while screaming at the top of his lungs. Gage was as thin as a twig and at least 6’5. He had a severe case of A.D.H.D and was prescribed a huge dose of Aderol that he sold at school for booze money. He was also extremely stupid. There was two squad cars flying up the road towards us with their lights on. They were lined up as if they knew what they were looking for. Adam who was the driver yelled “I got this!” and turned down Lily Street going sixty miles per hour thinking he could out maneuver the cops. Then we told him to stop. We were already spotted and in this car which was never seen especially in mustard yellow. There probably wasn’t one in the 4 state radius.
Gage handed Dan the aluminum baseball bat and Adam declared us to get it in the trunk because they can’t search it without a warrant. One of the only things we learned in Government. “How the fuck do you open this” I say in a frantic. I didn’t smash any of the mailboxes I swear but now my fingers were on the baseball bat and I’ll be convicted as an accomplice. We couldn’t double team the back to open into the trunks safety storage so we just hid behind our ankles. The officers came up to our car and began asking questions while shinning flash lights in our eyes and in the shadows of the car. The one on the right easily spotted the baseball bat and motioned to the one by the driver side window.
Adam was the first to be questioned and went into a downward tailspin. He was feeding them utter bullshit that anyone who was guilty would say. We only had the baseball bat because he was in the baseball program at west which wasn’t true because he didn’t make the team and also he had no idea what we were being accused of. He was basically pleadings ignorance is bliss. Our faces though proved it all. We all decided in the car that we would just come clean and tell them everything that happened and let Adam pick up his own shards of dishonesty later.
When I got out of the car the first thing the cop said to me was “If you try to run I will catch up to you and tackle you and put you in the hospital.” I told him “I don’t know why I would run.” He made us all sit in the grass with our hands underneath our asses while we sat Indian style. It was humiliating while the first cop kept questioning Adam. I didn’t even want to know the kid while he was lying because it wasn’t just obvious but it was full of stutters and really fast talking. His mouth was trying to keep up with his ass but it all showed in his hand gestures. He was trying to show emphasis through his wrists and the shock led through his fingers.
The cop told him if he didn’t stop making up shit that he would impound his car. It wasn’t Adam’s car but it was his fathers. Adam’s dad, Scott, was a bigger prick then his son and it was Adam’s dream from childhood to not upset his father. He went farther in baseball then he wanted to because of his Father. He would do everything around the house like the dishes, letting out the dogs, the yard work and even cook just to get some positive emotions from his father but they never came. So he used this anger against the economy. He would steal anything that he could get his hands onto. He wouldn’t do it aimlessly though. Adam would plan all day at school at what he would cop after school. If you wanted to steal alcohol you would need a buyer and at least 2 pick ups. The pick ups would walk down the aisles and snag the whisky and vodka and put it in there leather coat pockets. Then the buyer would grab a few things and he would go and buy the grocery items while the stealers would just either walk right on by or hang back with the buyer. His best cops were some established suit coats, which was our trademark that quickly spread through the school, a laptop that was only for display purposes so they smashed it outside the Wal-Mart they got it at and he almost got a bass guitar which he stuffed down his pants.
This was a night that included all of our pasttimes but in a single night. Early when I got picked up at 6:30 we went to Meijer which was the local supermarket and easily stole 2 bottles of booze. We already had one sold and I bought cranberry juice because I was always the buyer. I never partook in any of the stealing but I guess just from knowing them that I was guilty by association. One of the bottle was already sold to some rich kids in Boone Heights. Each house was surrounded by bushes and their was only one road that led through the whole subdivision. All of them were white with blue trimmings around the window and each kid that lived their was angsty and rich. They paid us thirty bucks for just one bottle. The bottle only costs fifteen if we would of purchased it. We met them just in the middle of the road because none of them got that this was all risky business. We didn’t either. Adam just got his liscense literally a month ago in Febuary and this was one of my first nights with the gang. We were waiting for Dan and Gage to give us a call so we just drove around looking for something to do. I didn’t have a cell phone yet so everything was up in their hands.
It was Adam’s idea. He had the baseball bat in his trunk and wanted to have a little fun while the day light was still out. We were driving down Dartmoor which was a pretty busy subdivision road that connected Bull Valley to Mchenry. Joe started first and didn’t get the hang of it. We weren’t going fast enough and some of the mailboxes were plastic so either the bat would just bounce off or get it stuck in the shards of plastic. Adam then handed over the steering wheel to Joe who was older then him but didn’t have his license yet. He didn’t say no and Adam smashed three in a row. They asked me if I wanted to and I said “Maybe later” even though I knew I wouldn’t. I knew that was bad and I was only an accomplice to these events not one of the actual masterminds. We got bored of this fast because they already did it. It was their rite of passage to be accepted in their own community. They had shit to prove to other punk types out their, the kids that did bad things for the attention or the wonder if they got caught. It was a game of cat and mouse trying to beat one another for that cool but dangerous leader.
We finally got called by Gage and we were going to head over there. We had other plans for tonight. When we got there which was my first time being to Gage’s we just sat in the garage. Everyone else their was in a classic rock band called “The Strangers” and they practiced rarely and were mediocre. The only one’s that knew how to play were Dan and Gage and they were both guitar players. Adam tried to sing because he always admired Mick Jagger. Joe was to play drums because he was the only one left. I just watched as they banged away on their instruments, waiting and wanting to leave. We were in an area around McHenry that I have never been to because I was from a village called Wonder Lake. I didn’t start exploring the back streets until my friends got their cars and I had to passenger until I was out of high school.
We then got to the climax of the night. Joe was learning how to build pipe bombs with his step brother Nate. They usually only made half sized one’s but he just concocted his first full size one. We drove down a middle class subdivision that none of us were connected to. By connected I mean none of us lived over here or even knew anyone in this area. We found a house with no lights on that was in the back of the subdivision and put it in his mailbox and lit it. Joe couldn’t get the mailbox's door closed and spared a few seconds. When he finally did we floored it at least being 150 feet from the mailbox but when it went off the noise sounded like lightning just hit and wood from the mailbox sent shrapnel pummeling Adam’s car in the rear and even on the ceiling. This thing was huge and we just floored it putting on Anarchy in the U.K. Joe was on an adrenaline high and leaned out his already rolled down window and just smashed as many mailboxes as he could. The final count by the end of the night which we read in the newspapers were 29.
After that we decided that it was getting late and curfew was approaching. It was 10 o’clock and it was time to bring everyone home. While heading towards Joe’s house in Bull Valley we passed a subdivision that just started to be built. They had houses still in frames without any siding on. I joked about making blowing up one of those but the others said that would be a felony. We just committed a felony so I thought it was pretty fucking funny. We went down the roads that were just paved and since there was construction happening all around us there was plenty of porty o’ potties. We decided to do everything as a team and tip it like a cow. It only took 5 seconds and we had two pushers and two others on the side trying to lunge it forward. When it hit the pavement we ran to the car, flooring it out of the subdivision like this was the worst thing we have done.
We were all questioned by the cops. Gage just blamed it all on Joe since he wasn’t in the car anymore. It was 10:42 at night and thus past our curfew but they have held us past it.The cops went back to their squad car to talk to each other. They looked worried and I could only hear a few phrases that they said to each other. One of them said to the other that they had no evidence that we did it. The other said to him to just start walking the fucking area for any smashed mailboxes. There was sure to be some. But no one called them in, someone told the cops what our car looked like. They had no evidence but the baseball bat but no one called in their missing mailboxes so they had to let us go.
While we were driving to bring back the other two after the event, none of us talked to each other but just nodded our heads in despair. We got pulled over again trying to bring Gage home. We just told the cop that we already got pulled over and he let us go. To our right was another yellow Monte Carlo and we all just laughed. To Gage, Dan and Joe this was a night of passage. To finally prove that they were extreme and they kept on doing outrageous things to get the schools attention. To Adam and I, it was a rite of intensification. A stepping away point, a time to leave our silliness behind and finally act like we were adults.
I got home and no one was awake. I got on my computer and wrote out a letter telling my parents exactly what happened during the night and how the police were supposed to call in the morning. They said they would but they never did. Nothing happened to us. We blamed this on Gage’s father working for the Johnsburg Fire Department. But my parents still got the note and even though the only thing I took part in the night was a tipping over a Port o’ potty. My parents scolded me and it took them two years to stop eyeballing Adam every time he came and picked me up for school.
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