Midnight is in her Eyes

“Midnight, is in her Eyes”


I pressed the ridged piece of mirror against my wrist, wondering what it would feel like. A reflection of my childhood dream catcher appeared in the glass. I looked up to see it hanging above the bed. I forgot it had been there for so long, like a part of the wall it belonged there where it hung. I wondered how many nightmares the little thing had saved me from. How many terrible memories had it kept out of my head during my unconscious hours at night. Then I wondered if it had prevented any nightmares at all, shouldn’t the spiderweb net grow heavier with every nightmare? After-all how many bugs can a spiderweb hold before it breaks loose?
None of it mattered.


I wasted too much of my time thinking about minute things. I tilted the glass upwards to see my face, and in turn pressed the opposite end into my skin slightly, there’s a little bit of blood on my cheek. My eye sparkled from the light reflecting off the glass, there too dark. I never liked my brown eyes, I always wished one morning I would wake up with blue ones. My eyes looked blank, almost frozen as if I had died with my eyes open, nothing behind them. I bet it makes me very hard to read, mysterious in a way. Some girl’s find mysterious attractive I think, maybe brown eyes aren’t so bad. Something woke up the dog and he barked, I jumped, being pulled out of my thought and into reality accidentally sliding the edge against my wrist. I yelled, not in pain but at the dog. He stopped barking and I was bleeding all over the glass and down my arm. I was awkwardly calm for something like this to have just happened. I slowly put the glass down on my cluttered coffee table, the light reflected off of it again but this time at the ceiling. Painting the room in a tint of crimson red from the blood glazed over the shattered mirror.

I grabbed a bunch of napkins out of an old McDonalds bag on the coffee table, first cleaning off my arm and the area around the cut itself. Despite my effort the bleeding wouldn’t stop. I didn’t mind. It felt strangely appealing, it wasn’t painful and it didn’t feel good either. My arm was just tingling it was something different, something new. I kept the pressure on it and felt like having a cigarette. I was in an awkward state of mind and looking for something familiar. So I kept the pressure on the cut with my left hand and lit the cigarette with my right. I was upset with myself for being so foolish, holding broken glass up to my arm like that. I didn’t know what to do, I could hide the cut. If someone did happen to see it they would think I was suicidal. I could just let it be seen, but how would I explain it without looking so foolish?


I took another drag off of my cigarette, and looked under the napkins pasted to my right arm. The bleeding had finally stopped, and I could see how deep the cut went. It looked as though I could have hid change inside of it, like a coin purse. I hadn’t realized that I finished my cigarette until it had already reached the filter, I tossed the butt aside and decided I should clean out the cut. After rinsing it out in the bathroom sink, I turned to the door. The door looked so naked without that old mirror draping down it. I imagined that’s how the wall would look without the dream catcher hanging from it.


The body in the bathtub had spun over on its back in the water, she must have had a little bit of life left in her when I left earlier. I leaned over the side of the tub, her eyes were still open. They looked darker then they normally did, reminded me of the way my own eyes looked in the broken glass. Mysterious like death, and yet still attractive. She was always attractive, slim body, curves, more than a couple hand-fulls on her chest, and the most innocent face I’d ever seen. But she was devious, far from innocent. She always knew how to get what she wanted, the cute way she would use her body to get anything out of me, and she would make me well aware she was doing it too. I didn’t mind. Even now after her passing, her body was seductive floating there in the murky bath water.


I began to wonder when the police would arrive, she yelled pretty loud. The neighbor’s called the police when the dog was barking too loud, I’m sure they heard the gunshots. Maybe they were afraid to get involved, it had already been an hour since it happened.


I was getting lightheaded, smoking while losing blood probably wasn’t the best idea. I needed to get something in my stomach. I walked to the kitchen and found some bread to munch on. She always did the cooking, we didn’t keep any microwaveable food, and I didn’t know to cook. I got out a large knife to cut another slice of bread off the loaf. Holding the loaf with my right hand and cutting with the left, my arm slipped and it brushed up against my cut. It was still really touchy and the blood began to pour back out. This time I got out a towel and tied it tightly around my wrist. I was in the process of re-emerging myself into reality, and I realized that I needed to hide the body.


I would have to get her out of the water, dry her off, and find somewhere to hide her until I could burn her. The only sure way to get rid of the evidence. I’ll have to clean out the bath pretty well too. The police wouldn’t even think twice about it if they came then. I was covered in blood, and she’s laying in the bathtub without a pulse. I wouldn’t be able to leave this place in less it were in handcuffs. So I walked back into the bathroom and lifted her body out of the bathtub. As I lifted her by the side her wet, naked, and deceased body pressed up against my shirt. Her chest is no longer warm. She was more fun when she wasn’t motionless. I trudged outside with her over my back, failing to realize how cold the night was until the wind hit my soaked clothing.


I was able to get her in to the backseat of the car. Threw some sheets over the body just in case I had any unwanted company, I dont know anything about death or how long the body takes before it starts to decompose. I figured she’s still pretty fresh, and young at that, so I should have enough time to get rid of her completely before that mess starts. I put the car into drive, and thought I would cruise until I could find a place to do this at. I wasn’t even able to finish a whole trip around town before flashing lights showed up in my rearview. I was awkwardly calm for this situation.


The officer approached the car and asked for the license and registration, a routine traffic stop. I gave him both, ensuring he couldn’t see my right wrist, I didn’t mind. While he took both the license and registration back to squad car, I lit up another cigarette. I began running scenario’s in my mind in case the officer decided that I would need to leave my vehicle. I would have to run, I would rather of faced charges of assault and fleeing a police officer then charges of murder. It wasn’t even my fault, she was upset, and I was under the influence. I dont know how she found out, I was careful. I think I may have just finished sobering up when the cop decided to pull me over. She was waving a gun in the air for god’s sakes, what was I supposed to do?


The officer was on his way back to my car, I put out the cigarette. He gave me back the license and registration and started to talk about how I could take care of my tickets, paying for my traffic violations. It was all minute, none of it mattered, I just nodded my head until he was done talking and I could leave. I was awkwardly calm for everything that was happening.


The officer finally let me go, and I thought to go to my storage lot. I would keep her there until I could figure out a place to burn the body. I drove home, and made a second attempt towards eating. This time I chose cereal, I knew how to make it, and it was familiar to me.


I was getting tired, the night was exhausting. I thought about going to sleep, the sheets would be cold. She hadn’t been lying in them to warm up the bed for me like she usually had. I didn’t want to, cold sheets were unfamiliar to me. What was I supposed to do? She was waving a gun at me. Had I not done what I did, I would be the one laying in a storage space right now, I didn’t regret it.


I decided to clean myself up, ventured back inside the bathroom. The lights were left on, the gun was still on the counter, it looked natural. As if it belonged there, like the toothpaste, or the mirror that used to hang on the door, or even the dream catcher above the bed. The bathtub had finally finished draining its tainted water, and had it not been for the smell or the gun, I would never have guessed a person died here only an hour prior. I stripped down, and hopped inside the tub, kept the water cold to avoid steam inside my cut. I wondered why people are bothered to be present in a room where death takes place, its quite peaceful. It wasn’t my fault yea know? She always said I shouldn’t keep a gun in the house, I never thought she was the reason not to though. She was upset, she gets in these depressed moods and usually I can get her out of them. Not always though, sometimes I make it worse. I dont know how she found out, I was careful.


Her hair clogs up the drain in the bathroom sometimes, backs up the water. It happened again and I found my feet marinating in watered down blood. I thought for a moment I should be disgusted, but I couldn’t find a reason why. It was just blood, I didn’t mind. Maybe she smelled something off of me, how did that women know? I was careful, always brush my teeth before I leave, have a mint, and a piece of gum on the way home. No one could have told her, no one else knows, we keep very private.


But she was a pretty smart girl, devious too. It didn’t matter how she knew, because she knew and she was going to do something about it. Lured me straight into the bathroom, grabbing at my waist and leading me directly where she intended to kill me. I got to the bathroom with her, she pulls my gun out of the drawer where we keep the toothpaste, and starts yelling at me. When did she move my gun from our room? It was all minute, none of it mattered, because I was more devious than she. I say something absurd to throw her off, make her think. “I did it for you.” She falters for a second, and I throw her up against the mirror. It shatters, like her ability to stay calm. Blood starts spilling from her forehead, and tears from her eyes. It all mixes together and she looks like a mess, but still attractive, I’ve always thought she was attractive. The gun’s on the floor, and she opens her eyes long enough to see me look at it, then back at her. Her eyes are easier to read then mine, she thinks I’m going to shoot her. This upsets me, I never would have shot her. Not if I thought she still trusted me. It’s too late now, I press the gun to her temple. Give her one last kiss because I’m a generous man, walk her to the bathtub. I fire one shot for pulling a gun on me, two for not trusting me anymore, and a third because I like the sound. Her blood’s on my cheek, I dont mind.


I gave up on chasing familiar things to escape everything else going on. I decided to just lay down, I passed out in no time. It probably had something to do with how much blood I lost. But I didn’t mind, a good night sleep is worth a lot these days. In fact I would say that I never slept so sound before that night.


When I woke up the next morning everything still seemed unfamiliar. The wall above the bed didn’t look right. Something was missing from it, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I checked up on my wrist to see how the cut was looking. It had healed 100%, and I needed a cigarette. I planned on going back to the storage space, and moving the body tonight.


I could hear water running. I walked back inside and the bathroom door was closed. I put my ear against the door, and heard her singing in the shower. I slide the door open without making a noise. Shutting it behind me, I notice the door looks normal again. The mirror that was hanging from it is back, and its not broken. I looked at my wrist again, marveling at how it’s totally healed. She’s singing in the shower, I want to brush my teeth, open the toothpaste drawer and my gun’s in there. I’m awkwardly calm for this situation. Thinking back to the night prior, I could do a better job. Not be so foolish about anything this time. I gripped the gun tightly, pointed it at the shower curtain, and took three blind shots at her. Blood landed on my cheek, I didn’t mind it was just blood. I was awkwardly calm for this situation...