After exiting the steel doors, i begin to stare around and really start to look at the city. The amazement in architecture and the height. Goals accomplished. Buildings used to be a race. If you had the biggest, it actually meant something. A friendly game of cat and mouse that nations would partake in. That was when the communication lines were open. Constantly trading ideas so we could not only better ourselves but the world too. The we resided back into the Middle Ages. Everyone is out for themselves. No more aid, no more healing hands. If your not making money then your wasting it. And no one these days would think of wasting money.
Walking to their warehouse felt like it took hours when it should, in fact, take 20 minutes. Everything stuck out. The absence of bodies made the buildings seem alive. The windows are their eyes and the infrastructure their bodies. Each metal beam is a bone in their spine and the foundation our the two feet. But the beauty to these skyscrapers, which makes the city paradoxical, is that none of them are in a hurry. They gossip all day were there fellow friends and that is that. When the lights get turned off, they go to bed. Just like i must do.
My eyes wander off and i can feel my dreams fluttering in. Things being filtered out and other vivid ideas being pushed forward. When i finally reach the front entrance to my home, the doors not there. Just one man, towering above me with ferocious eyes and muscles that could run me over. Just the presence of a person, not in disguise, startles my fight or flight reflexes and i take a sliding dive underneath his legs as if i was playing freeze tag. Then I am suddenly in "living" room were Jacque and Riley are waiting. They kind of look frightened but my eye does the talking and they know what to do. They instantly lift their paused game of risk, move if off to a corner and lay me down. We don't have the same resources those doctors had so we made do with a hammer, some varying pliers and other random household utensils and items. What we don't have in resources, we make up in time. So they wash their hands thoroughly and get to work while i lay on the cold, wooden table that has seen better days.
Since they do not freely give out anesthetics, we make do by doing the most ancients of techniques. Inhale through the mouth and exhale through your nose. Stay calm and imagine the pain to be something delighting. An electric shock, someone hitting your funny bone, cracking your knuckles, an orgasm. But as the first cut slides into my weakened flesh, the practices fall apart. Nothing to tranquilize the searing, constant, throbbing, blood dripping slices of a steak knife. Never meant to be used as such torture but i try not to flinch and think of happier thoughts. The day after today. But they continue the operation after my mouth finally will not stay gnawing on my bottom. After the blood rushes to reach my taste buds, I need to do the only sane thing during the entire day and just scream. Mouth is as wide as it can be, perfectly O shaped and i let a gurgling yell.
Riley pauses and just stares at me, knowing that my beliefs want him to go further. To finish the task. But my body is acting against my ideologies. It's trembling at the hands, un-controllable fidgeting down to my legs, tears running from my eyes and snot pouring from my nostrils. I am putting my self into it's own stroke. I am the kidnapper and the victim in the same circumstance. After a minute of stopping, they are both done with the incisions and take the pliers and strap it to the Occulum. The metal on metal contact makes my cheek bones nervous and then everything suddenly turns ice cold. My forehead is sweating from the steady stream of light from our reading lamp turned surgical light but the rest of me, feels like hypothermia. Maybe i am already dead and this is just an out of body experience. The shock of the torture sent my conscious of my flesh and bones to mourn myself. Jacque starts the countdown from ten.
9. I feel like this is one terrible idea waiting to happen
8. What if they forgot something and my eyeball goes with it
7. I shut my other eye to combat the agony of the other one. At least they are together.
6. I squeeze tight, steady my breaths and just wait for the moment of relief.
5. My favorite number.
4. I decide to leave my eye open actually. So when the other one actually becomes use-less, my right eye won't be afraid too.
3. Finally something is happening. My plan has been sitting around for weeks, I am doing something that i have always wanted.
2. We are making breakthroughs. No one has ever done this and things make start looking up. The world is a clock and finally the second, minute and the hour hand our lining up. It's time to change
1. What if i was wrong? I could die in a second and so much failure. So much hatred. No legacy, no one will care if this is the last moment of Kalebeth Thompson Teeth and not one single person will bemoan me.
0. Everything goes black. It's not the same as resting your eyes because no light penetrates through my eyelids. It's pitch black, absolute darkness and i suddenly become claustrophobic. Then i realize that i am not stuck in any nooks or crannies but i am floating through space. Descending from my body and losing myself. But i continue because i like the feeling. The feeling of endless and infinite exploration. A new world that will never be in sight. Everything is around me and nothing at the same time. Maybe their is some sort of clue if i just journey on for a little bit longer. I can feel the black mist whiff past my body as i swim through it. Cold and distracting. This is all a new experience that is too hard to explain. Try closing your eyes. Are they shut? Really clench your eyelids closed and turn off all the lights in your room. Then press your palms into your eye sockets and concentrate. Focus on the spinning, green swirls until you get lost. Then after doing it for 30 seconds and you want to give up, keep holding it. Don't give up and focus. Imagine. And that is where my whole body is. Floating through the eloquent absence of humanity. It's your own little place to go when everything goes wrong.
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